Being Point

Tag: boundaries

  • How Do You Engage Other People’s Capacity?

    Other people’s capacity (OPC), like “other people’s money (OPM),” is a topic that we frequently notice and care about. We want others to do things that we want them to do; we work to enroll them in our visions of the future; and try to sell them and convince them that things can be different.

    All of these kinds of approaches involve “how much” of something the other person has: time, resources, interest, curiosity, health – and, of course, the other person is the only person who really knows his or her capacity for giving of these.

    What is your style for engaging a dialogue about OPC? Are you aggressive or, alternatively, are you someone who rarely mentions OPC? Think about how you would like others to engage your capacity and their requests about engaging it, and then revisit your own guidelines about how to best engage others.

  • Can Broken Loyalty Be Restored?

    Loyalty is a precious gift; and when it has been broken, experience teaches that it has been difficult – and sometimes impossible – to restore. Being able to restore loyalty requires a willingness to begin again, to literally forgive AND forget.

    Consider restoring loyalty on a national level. Abraham Lincoln invited Secessionists to rejoin the Union “with malice toward none, with charity toward all.” A stunning example of a willingness to forgive the past and to re-engage rebels who had been disloyal to the USA as loyal citizens.

    We often hear examples like this and think that perhaps Lincoln can do it, but in our own lives, we have doubted that such starting over with loyalty can actually happen. Such heroic actions are not limited to nations. We can experience them in our own lives.

    What is your experience with restoring loyalty? We might start within: if you’ve ever been disloyal to yourself, have you been able to start over and re-assert your loyalty to your core values? If so, have you ever been able to do that with others? What are the limits to restoring loyalty, if any, and how do you determine those boundaries?

  • Maintaining A Balanced Life With Technology Is About Healthy Boundaries

    It’s been getting increasingly difficult to stay balanced due to technology; hasn’t it? Technology is supposed to serve us and increase our quality of life, but we’ve found ourselves working longer and harder just to keep up with its demands.

    Maintaining a balanced life with technology is about maintaining healthy boundaries.  A few ideas:

    * Read and respond to email only at the beginning, middle and end of each day.

    * Limit time on social networking sites to 15 – 30 minutes daily.

    * For every hour on your computer, take at least 30 minutes off of it.

    * Have at least one day a week where you unplug as much as possible – and maybe unplug completely – only engaging in telephonic contact.

    * Limit television time and expand interpersonal contact with friends and family.

    What are your best approaches for staying balanced in your relationship with technology?  How much of an issue is technology in having a balanced life?