Last night, I had the privilege to participate in an evening called, “How To Cope With Challenging Economic Times,” and I was personally challenged by a woman in the audience who asked a question to the effect of, “After all the cliches, the support of friends and family, the positive self-talk, the resume rewriting and the networking: after all that, my family is still desperate for money because both my ex-husband and I are now out of work. What do we do then?”
Her question cuts to the nub: what happens when there is so much adversity that nothing we do seems to change things and we feel powerless? The most I could do in the moment was to empathize and to focus on our shared human condition. Most likely, everyone past the age of 30 has had some loss from which there is truly no recovery – if we define “recovery” as restoring things to the way that they were.
Yet, the answer that most resonated with me – and the group – was that each day is to be taken one day at a time, and we get through it by loving each other. Cliche? Absolutely. True? You tell me. What else is there when all is said and done?
When adversity is so huge that nothing seems to work, do you: (a) withdraw to yourself (b) allow and invite others to support you emotionally (c) feel ashamed and try to work your way out of the situation by being tough, or (d) love yourself and allow others to love you through it? There is no right answer for everyone.
What do we do when prolonged adversity seems to be permanent? How are we able to access our power?