Being Point

Tag: relationships

  • Command And Control Often Shows Up In Personal Relationships As Well As Business

    Edward Deming, the famed management consultant credited with engineering post-war Japan’s economic recovery, believed that organizations are holographic of their leaders. He said that companies – and all kinds of human groups – emulate and embody the values of their leadership.

    People within command and control cultures also often model the same kinds of dominating behaviors of their leaders. This dynamic is particularly interesting when one observes family units, romantic relationships and social relationships.

    Have you been part of a command and control relationship in your family, friendships, romantic or social relationships? What role(s) have you played? How did it feel to be part of that kind of energy? Can you theorize about where it came from?

    Most importantly: is command and control an energy that you want to characterize any kind of relationship of which you are a part?

  • “There Is No Faith Which Has Never Yet Been Broken, Except That Of A Truly Faithful Dog.” ~ Konrad Lorenz

    With apologies to anyone who is more a cat person than a dog person, no conversation about loyalty would be complete without discussing dogs. Here’s one of my favorite quotes:

    There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog. ~ Konrad Lorenz

    I’ve had the joy of having dogs most of my life, and I’ve fallen deeply in love with each of them without exception. Loyalty sometimes feels like having that sweet animal follow you around the house, waiting for you, cuddling next to you and relentlessly begging to play ball or pretend that 85 pounds can be a lap dog.

    Are the qualities which make up loyalty in a dog the same as they are in people? Are dog lovers confusing loyalty with the dependence of dogs on us for their survival? What are the core qualities in what we read as loyalty in dogs that we’d like to have in our human relationships?

  • Family Ties Benefit From Being Nurtured And Cared For

    Family relationships, like all relationships, benefit from kindness, attention and nurturing. Author, Jim Rohn, said:

    “Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.”

    It’s one thing to be on your own – and quite another to have those by your side who are your family – by blood, marriage, choice – or just pure love.

    How are you doing at nurturing your family ties? Is there someone in your life who sets an example and tends to nourish the family more or better than you? Are there any actions that you know, deep in your soul, that you wish you could take if only you could?

  • Kaizen Is Moving Forward Some Distance Every Day

    Expanding your income and / or your business is a matter of expanding your relationships. You may have noticed that after a certain point, you have not maintained the same enthusiasm for developing new contacts that you once had. Perhaps the need has changed, and you’re more comfortable. Perhaps you have felt that you don’t want to bother people – or some other excuse has taken hold like you lack the time or patience with the process.

    Try on the notion that you’re either expanding or contracting – and that there’s no standing still. Expansion and forward movement does not have to be accompanied by pressure. Small steps, when added together, can equal significant progress. The Japanese word “kaizen” means “some progress, however small.” If you practice kaizen on a daily basis, even if it’s the equivalent of only one step, you’ll find that over time, you’ve expanded your relationships – and, thus, your income and / or your business.

    Where can you see a place for the daily practice of kaizen in your professional life? Can you feel the freedom in moving forward each day with zero pressure on how much distance you have to cover?

  • Without Integrity, We Can Feel As Though We Cease To Exist

    It’s been said that without integrity, we don’t exist. Why? Because for one to pretend to be true when one isn’t true simply invalidates * being * itself.

    Dishonesty exists for one primary purpose: to mislead. To mislead others – but, ultimately, to mislead oneself. If all we have is our word, then to utter false words is to, in effect, cease to exist.

    Yet, no one of us is perfect. All humans, by definition, are flawed vessels. So how do we reconcile our imperfection with our hunger for integrity?

    How do you feel when someone lies to you? How do you feel when you know that someone is not operating from integrity – especially if they are trying to imply or assure you that they are? What are the implications for the health of that relationship? How can we, as humans, do better?

  • Annual Renewal Of Marriage Vows And Other Commitments

    A focus on renewal in key relationships can be fruitful. Psychologist Ken Dychtwal discussed in a recent article how he and his wife (married in 1983) renew their vows every year on their wedding anniversary . . . . in a different place and set of circumstances each year. They view it as an annual remarriage where they evaluate their needs and commitments.

    Revisiting original agreements to renew them is an enormously powerful antidote to the inertia that relationships of any kind can take on as years pass.

    Think about your key romantic and business partnerships. Could you be well-served by an annual renewal of the principles of partnership? What kind of magic might that produce? How else can you access the power of renewal? Can this kind of renewal be useful and practical even in client and vendor relationships?

    Here’s the link to Dr. Dychtwald’s post:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ken-dychtwald/the-miracle-cure-for-what_b_183685.html

    Copyright 2009. E. B. Hutt Bush and Coaching for Results, Inc.

  • Surrendering the Habit of Forcing Others to Give In

    When William Booth said, “The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender,” he was talking about the upside of “giving in” to a powerful principle.

    Opportunities for surrender often present themselves in one-on-one relationships. When a power struggle occurs and there is a battle for control, the governing principle has often been to force the other to give in.

    Can you see places in your life where surrender can be to a noble value like collaboration, teamwork and partnership? Surrendering the ego’s need to be in control is a strategy that produces great results.

    Where can you yield or surrender to loyalty, integrity, wisdom, health, love, friendship, hope and optimism?

    Who can you stop resisting and begin to embrace through surrender to your core values?

    Copyright 2009. E. B. Hutt Bush and Coaching for Results, Inc.

  • Surrender In Its Most Powerful Form

    Surrender of our limitations frequently leads us to expand ourselves as human beings. For example, we can surrender isolation and embrace feelings of compassion . . . or even surrender being average so we can embrace a desire for mastery in a given situation. We can choose to surrender old limiting beliefs and prejudices in favor of openness and acceptance.

    So, if surrender is so great, why have you and I been afraid to surrender? Ego perhaps . . . or concern over losing ourselves in surrendering to something perhaps bigger than we are? Fear of the unknown?

    Surrender in its most powerful form is our opening up to forces to which we are highly attracted, but which simultaneously frighten us in some way.

    Consider the example of parenting: there is a simple and poignant surrender of the old way of life for the new. Or the example of a person who may have a talent and be fearful of surrendering to expressing it because it may turn out to be “not good enough.”

    Would you like to cultivate a habit of surrendering to your higher values? How does this apply to your profession, your health, your family, your friendships? How can surrender be related to mastery? What specifically would you ultimately benefit from surrendering to?

    Copyright 2009. E. B. Hutt Bush and Coaching for Results, Inc.

  • Money Makes the World Go ‘Round?

    There’s a line in “Cabaret”: “Money makes the world go ’round.” This is a prevalent . . . and potentially troublesome . . . belief.

    Is it possible that we have it wrong in our culture when we act as though money can buy happiness?

    Have love and money ever intersected in your life? I heard someone say recently, “I married her for her money,” and I was sad that anyone would ever do that. Has that ever happened to anyone you know . . . or even to you?

    Richard Friedman said, “Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love will make it wag its tail.”

    Have you seen or experienced evidence of money influencing affairs of the heart? What do you believe is the best attitude toward money within a romantic relationship?

    Copyright 2009. E. B. Hutt Bush and Coaching for Results, Inc.

  • Granting A Reprieve In the Name of Love

    Our annual celebration of love has its roots in the martyred St. Valentine who is rumored to have sent the first “official” note on February 14th, 269 A.D., the day he was executed during the reign of the Roman Emperor Claudius. It was signed, “From Your Valentine.”

    In concluding our week about LOVING YOURSELF, what would your Valentine to yourself say? Start with something like, “I love me because . . . . . . . ” and then list 5 or 10 things that, without equivocation, you love about yourself.

    Consider making a note in a journal, diary or calendar where you can be reminded of these things when, in the future, you might forget them.

    Consider letting others in your life know what you love about yourself and what how you express it. You can do this in personal relationships, but you can also do it in business. For example, “I pride myself on my attention to my clients” or “I love the way that our products help people.

    Tomorrow, consider granting yourself – and others – a reprieve and pardon any outstanding offenses in the name of love.

    Most of all, consider how loving yourself thoroughly and well gives you the strongest possible foundation from which to engage the world . . . another strategic advantage in the Land of Results.

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Valentine!

    Copyright 2009. E. B. Hutt Bush and Coaching for Results, Inc.